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#trending | RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Farewell then, Wee Burney – a nation mourns – SNP: News on the Scottish Nationwide Social gathering manifesto, insurance policies, MPs and MSPs | mail Online
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oh, by no means thoughts. Nicola Sturgeon’s try to push Scotland in the direction of independence failed in a match of hubris. She blamed the English for the whole lot unhealthy which befell the folks she was paid to signify, whereas making an attempt to current Scotland as a ‘woke’ fortress in opposition to English fascism. Her ‘males are lady’ lie proved a bridge too far and her resignation was met with jubilant Unionists in George Sq., Glasgow, forming a conga line and dancing on her political grave. There are nonetheless questions to be answered concerning the money raised for the referendum, however for now Scotland can have a good time that the divisive and malevolent determine of Nicola Sturgeon is gone.
Conga, conga, conga, Nicola now not, la-la la-la, la-la la-la. Or because the late, nice Geordie darts commentator Sid Waddell noticed when Jocky Wilson received the world championship: ‘They’ll be dancing, they’ll be singing, they’ll be Highland flinging in the streets of Kirkcaldy tonight . . .’
Nicely, if not in Kirkcaldy, then definitely in George Sq., Glasgow, the place a crowd of jubilant Unionists fashioned a conga line to bounce on the political grave of Nicola Sturgeon. It seemed like Winston’s marriage ceremony in Nonetheless Game.
Waving Union flags and swigging champagne, they partied like it was, er, 1997 — the yr New Labour unleashed the separatist monster. Keep in mind how Scottish devolution was alleged to ‘strengthen the Union’? A few of us noticed by this Fantasy Island nonsense on the time, warning that it was your starter for ten.
I can recall writing again then that if this cynical sew-up was designed to deliver our nations nearer collectively, then why was SNP chief Alex Salmond sitting alongside Tony Blair on the inaugural press convention, grinning just like the cat who obtained the cream?
Over the previous 25 years, first below Salmond after which his protege Sturgeon, the Nats have strained each sinew to tear aside the world’s most profitable and longest-enduring constitutional partnership.
Within the meantime, perhaps they’ll erect a statue to the good woman in George Sq.. And hopefully, just like the Duke of Wellington, she’ll be imortalised for posterity with a visitors cone on her head
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Salmond, aka Wee Eck, a minimum of had the great grace to resign when the voters gave independence a convincing thumbs-down in the 2014 independence referendum.
His successor, Wee Burney, refused to simply accept that ‘as soon as in a lifetime’ democratic defeat on the poll field and has spent a lot of the previous close to-decade making an attempt to breath life into the twitching separatist corpse.
By the way, I nicknamed Sturgeon ‘Wee Burney’ after the son of alcoholic waster and self-styled ‘creme de la scum’ Rab C. Nesbitt in the good BBC Scotland comedy.
On the time, others have been calling her ‘Wee Jimmy Krankie’ due to her resemblance to the fictional Scottish schoolboy from central casting performed by Janette Powerful, a Jolly Jocko Land model of Simply William.
I was conflicted. Ought to I persevere with Wee Burney or give in to the consensus? So I determined to depart the ultimate choice to the impeccable style of Scottish Day by day mail readers, who got here out in favour of Burney by a margin of a minimum of ten to 1.
The explanation I selected that moniker was as a result of Rab C’s Wee Burney was a malevolent character, a poison dwarf. Jimmy Krankie was a much-beloved determine of fun.
And, to my thoughts, there was nothing amusing about Sturgeon. Malevolence is her center title.
Somebody as soon as stated for those who can pretend sincerity, you’ve cracked it. Or phrases to that impact. By no means has that appeared more bang on the money than throughout Wee Burney’s self-serving set-piece resignation this week.
There was nothing amusing about Nicola Sturgeon. Malevolence is her center title writes RICHARD LITTLEJOHN
Even then, she did not live as much as her intention to current herself as a trembling sufferer. She couldn’t even get the bogus self-deprecation proper. The crocodile tears wouldn’t come, irrespective of how much she tried to activate the waterworks. A tough-hearted lady to the tip.
As soon as Salmond handed on the ceremonial skean dhu, she couldn’t wait to twist it in his guts. There’s gratitude for you. However, dedication to Scottish independence aside, there was a basic distinction between these two SNP figureheads.
For all his faults — for which he has been hanged, drawn and quartered — there was a human high quality about Wee Eck, which is demonstrably absent with out depart in Wee Burney.
She’s stunningly devoid of self-consciousness. Who else resigns to spend more time with their nieces and nephews — after which thinks the remainder of us are so silly to that we’ll swallow it? It could take a coronary heart of stone to not snort. By no means thoughts Wee Burney, we’re speaking Little Nell here.
Salmond, on the other hand, was a sort of Caledonian Boris, effervescent with bonhomie. He managed to make the case for independence with out slagging off the English at each alternative.
Even hardline Unionist Scots who viscerally opposed his insurance policies warmed to him.
As Randy Newman wrote of Lester Maddox, the divisive Georgia governor: He may be a idiot however he’s our idiot.
Salmond (pictured) a minimum of had the great grace to resign when the voters gave independence a convincing thumbs-down in the 2014 independence referendum.
After a wee dram, Salmond sounded nearly cheap. I did a number of TV reveals with him in the dim and distant and he was nice firm.
Again then his bagman was Angus Robertson, tipped as one of many entrance-runners to take over from Wee Burney, together with teenage Wee Free Kate Forbes.
Robertson’s job was to go the bar for Alex on the Boisdale steakhouse in London’s Belgravia, run by cigar-chomping Scottish laird and half-time Elvis impersonator Ranald Macdonald.
Salmond and his Whisky Galore sidekick Robertson all the time gave me the impression that they have been much happier in Belgravia than they’d be in Belhaven.
(The one query about Del Boy’s Uncle Albert-lookalike Robertson these days: Is he actually solely 53?) Oh, and when I featured that image of Burney and Forbes in this column on Tuesday, largely as an excuse to wheel out the outdated Mike and Bernie Winters on the Glasgow Empire gag once more, I had no thought what was coming down the bagpipe.
Mystic Uncle Wealthy strikes once more!
Sorry, I digress. As Mike Parkinson nearly stated, you meet a greater class of SNP chief down Reminiscence Lane. The reality about Sturgeon is that she’s a Toytown Tartanista model of Idi Amin, the Ugandan dictator who led his nation into the worldwide wilderness and gifted Britain so many gifted Asian exiles.
Over the previous 25 years, first below Salmond after which his protege Sturgeon, the Nats have strained each sinew to tear aside the world’s most profitable and longest-enduring constitutional partnership
If Wee Burney had been profitable in uncoupling Scotland from the remainder of the UK, the border with England would have come to resemble the Rio Grande in Texas.
By no means would the Samuel Johnson quote have proved more applicable: The noblest prospect which a Scotchman ever sees is the high highway that leads him to England.
The exodus of gifted, enterprising Scots could be this yr’s Ugandan Asians. And may nonetheless be, if Sturgeon’s McTax rises aren’t reversed.
In the end, Wee Burney imploded in a match of hubris. Her ludicrous competition {that a} male rapist with an intact set of marriage ceremony deal with was a ‘lady’ was a camel’s again job. However the Gender Recognition Invoice was in actuality nothing more than a sideshow — an absurd overreach which sealed her destiny.
You don’t want me to spell out the numerous ways in which she has been an absolute catastrophe for Scotland. Her monomania over independence has disguised her management of a failed state.
Others have documented her lamentable document on crime, schooling, well being and so forth and so forth, and scooby dooby dooby.
My loathing of this tinpot tyrant is solely right down to her tirades in opposition to the evil English, who she blamed for the whole lot unhealthy which befalls the folks she is paid to signify.
If an English politician had sought to assault the Scots in the identical means, they’d have had Scotland Yard kicking in their entrance door with a hate crime warrant.
She tried to current Scotland as a ‘woke’ fortress in opposition to English fascism. And, thank goodness, she failed spectacularly.
Wee Burney sowed hatred, grievance and division. It was her depraved inventory in commerce.
She tried to current Scotland as a ‘woke’ fortress in opposition to English fascism. And, thank goodness, she failed spectacularly.
The plain reality is that we’re one folks, British. There’s little distinction between the folks of Kilmacolm and the folks of Kidderminster. No matter our occasion political leanings, we’re principally small ‘c’ conservatives.
She tried to fake that the SNP — or somewhat, she — was Scotland. However she misplaced. Her ‘males are lady’ lie proved a Bridge of Weir too far.
Shamefully, the cowed Scottish media — this newspaper apart — has been culpable to this point in surrendering to each her warped narrative and her phalanx of anonymous Cybernat bullies.
And the ineffective, self-relating to, anti-Tory Westminster broadcast media bubble elevated this two-bob, small-city no one in high heels to world statesman standing.
Now she’s gone, there are nonetheless questions to be answered. Similar to: the place did the £600,000 raised for the referendum go? And: the place did Sturgeon’s husband get £107,000 to lend to the SNP?
It defies perception that Wee Burney knew nothing about this ‘mortgage’. If I gave somebody 107 grand, Mrs Littlejohn may simply discover.
My loathing of this tinpot tyrant is solely right down to her tirades in opposition to the evil English, who she blamed for the whole lot unhealthy which befalls the folks she is paid to signify writes RICHARD LITTLEJOHN
‘Tesco declined our debit card right this moment. Went to the outlet in the wall and there was £107,000 lacking. Any thought the place it’s gone?’
Yeah, proper.
My greatest guess is that Taggart and Rebus are already on the case.
Within the meantime, perhaps they’ll erect a statue to the good woman in George Sq.. And hopefully, just like the Duke of Wellington, she’ll be imortalised for posterity with a visitors cone on her head.
Two years in the past, nearly to the day, I wrote a denunciation of Wee Burney’s failed state, concluding with a few traces from Bruce Springsteen’s Bobby Jean.
I’ll be at Murrayfield for Bruce in Could. In the meantime, as he might need written about Wee Burney . . .
Heaven is aware of, we received’t miss you, lady.
Good riddance, goodbye . . .
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Dave Petchy
